Dominique Dennery - The Art of Transformation

Everything that I have been doing over these last ten days --from holding a workshop on New Beginnings with individuals stepping into their own future, to my 17th Diversity Awareness session with employees of one large organization engaged in large-scale transformation, to coaching a young man struggling with his first big job, to being present to a friend with a life threatening illness, to coaching a young woman taking steps to leave the safety of a good job to follow her dream, to engaging with many friends and clients puzzled by the reality they are creating -- everything has one thread in common: the importance of holding a big space, holding a bigger intention for others, and for myself.

There were times this week where instead of helping, I felt I was in the way of others, and in my own way. I lost my sense of purpose for a day, for two. On the third day, I had a conversation with someone I have known for decades, who, given how the universal consciousness seems to work, was going through a version of what I was experiencing. In speaking with this individual I realized that I was stuck in too small a world, the world of what is and isn't working, instead of the world of possibilities. I had forgotten my intention of shaping my life and helping others shape theirs to serve their bigger purpose.

He insisted that what he was dealing with right now was real, and having artificially positive thoughts about his future would not help at all! Of course what we create is real... for us. Of course, our thoughts can be negative and applying make-up to these is not the solution. What you think and feel should be acknowledged... and, it may be time to wonder if there isn't a bigger conversation you need to have with yourself.

What if I framed my experiences in the bigger context of human transformation? What if, by being impatient, angry, confused and teary-eyed, I was transforming, yet again and ready to make different choices that would support the bigger purpose of facilitating human development?

So, I am holding on for dear life to my Intention. Holding on to it when alone or passionately engaged with others. I will remind others of their intention, gently, while staying present to their transformation, at their own pace, in their own time.
Life is meaningless without a purpose that is much fatter than you :-). I have mine. Do you have yours?

Labels: career transition, intention, power of thought, transformation

Had a conversation with one of my long time colleagues about the roller coaster of her emotions as she noticed the accumulation of what she called disatisfying things in her life. Why wasn't she attracting the fulfilling instead?!

This was my reply:

I have come across situations like the one you describe in my one-on-one sessions, and have noticed that most folks (including yours truly) go through a period of deconstruction, followed by a fallow period, before anything new can sprout. We get impatient and upset with ourselves when we go through anything but the ‘everything is fine’ part of this natural/universal cycle, and start creating a snowball effect where the more we try to be what we used to be before the ‘change’, the more difficulties we attract. There may be very little gold left in the gold mine, and yet we keep going down the shaft.

Easy to say that the key is to let go. It seems to most of us that what we need is, on the contrary, to just get back on track, try harder, get our act together. But…. the irony is, you can’t get your act together, cause you aren’t the same person you were when you started on this journey! Different modes of being are required, different thoughts. These can’t be forced, like potting a plant and standing over it and saying ‘Grow now!’ During the chaotic times, anything you can do that makes you feel human is good. Doing activities that really nourish us + spending time with ourselves seem to be the two things my clients and friends say work for them. I’ll send you the link to my podcasts once edited next week. You may just recognize some patterns...

Finally, what I will say about our profession as freelancers, is that our passion and energy is what drives us and attracts clients to us. It’s not only our skill. What experience am I creating for my clients when they are in my presence? Do I like what I am doing with them? Do I burst with new ideas? If not, maybe my mine is empty.

I know my new endeavours require that I find a new mine. I’ll make it diamonds this time!

Labels: transition

Had a wonderful time playing catch up with my friend Caroline Ishii, owner and chef of Zen Kitchen, a gourmet vegetarian restaurant in Canada's capital that had been wonderfully successful since it opened a little over a year ago. Watch my website for a webcast of this Dialogue on Transformation soon. A few days after the videotaping, on Halloween, we continued our conversation way past the witching hour, and the following recipe emerged for creating magic in our lives:

First, you need the right frame of mind. In your psyche, that means holding a belief that your life is shaped by you, not simply happening to you. Without that conviction, you can turn off the oven and stop cooking right now!

Next, you want to become very curious about what you are creating, particularly if it is not what you want, but even if it is. Like a Chef who experiments, you will want to taste the results and decide if you need to adjust your thoughts and actions to create the outcome you crave. Watch for signs that you are in the right direction... or not. More on this in a future post.

Third, the ingredient that holds it all together is Trust. Even if what you want is nothing but a twinkle in your eye, you need to believe that it is possible. Caroline and I both commented on the need to surround yourself with 'believers' to assuage occasional self doubt. This is not the time to engage your relatives or friends who will give you 101 reasons you can't follow your dream. You can save that for later, when you can brush them off with a smug smile!

Finally, it is important to recognize success, even if it doesn't look like what you had anticipated. The mates we attract don't always look like the Prince Charming we dreamed about as young girls (smile). In the same way, our creations aren't always picture perfect. Take what you have created, celebrate with zest, and continue to add seasoning until you get it to your liking.

Usually this is when many artists and entrepreneurs tire of their creation, create chaos in their lives, and embark on their next life adventure.

Labels: power of thought