Tuesday, September 28, 2010
No longer craving the familiar?
I have been touring Sri Lanka with my son, rediscovering this Island through his eyes. Much has become familiar to me in the space of a year. He reminds me of what is different about this world, while highlighting for me how human behaviour remains the same in so many ways.
Adrien's senses have been bombarded by new smells, sights, sounds during these last few weeks. Upon returning from an exciting Elephant Safari in Udawalewe National Park yesterday, he just wanted to spend the day curled up in front of the TV set (he says the quality of the English programming is better than what can be found on our North American commercial-ridden channels)to stop the experience and reconnect with what is familiar. He was craving familiar foods and contact with his Canadian friends on Facebook. I completely understand.
What I notice now is that my life on this island has become almost more familiar to me than the life I will be reentering when I fly back to Canada next month. I feel some trepidation about stepping into conversations with colleagues or entering rooms full of people who know more about life in Canada than I do. I have no idea what is playing on the radio, who is the new celebrity, what is giving rise to citizen outrage, what are the latest rumours in the federal public service. The word I want to use is disconnected. Staying with this feeling, I hope to bring some new insights to what I do for a living, i.e. helping people with change and transformation.
I expressed to a dear friend in an e-mail earlier that even though I have used the expression before, I really had no idea what it meant to hang in mid-air, having let go of a trapeze without having yet caught the next one. This new reality of mine is unfamiliar for sure, but not as dramatic as I envisaged when I was on solid ground, paralyzed with the fear of letting go. In the past, every time I let go, I went right back to the familiar. This time, the ground has disappeared under my feet. It just means I will have to grow wings, n'est-ce pas?
Adrien's senses have been bombarded by new smells, sights, sounds during these last few weeks. Upon returning from an exciting Elephant Safari in Udawalewe National Park yesterday, he just wanted to spend the day curled up in front of the TV set (he says the quality of the English programming is better than what can be found on our North American commercial-ridden channels)to stop the experience and reconnect with what is familiar. He was craving familiar foods and contact with his Canadian friends on Facebook. I completely understand.
What I notice now is that my life on this island has become almost more familiar to me than the life I will be reentering when I fly back to Canada next month. I feel some trepidation about stepping into conversations with colleagues or entering rooms full of people who know more about life in Canada than I do. I have no idea what is playing on the radio, who is the new celebrity, what is giving rise to citizen outrage, what are the latest rumours in the federal public service. The word I want to use is disconnected. Staying with this feeling, I hope to bring some new insights to what I do for a living, i.e. helping people with change and transformation.
I expressed to a dear friend in an e-mail earlier that even though I have used the expression before, I really had no idea what it meant to hang in mid-air, having let go of a trapeze without having yet caught the next one. This new reality of mine is unfamiliar for sure, but not as dramatic as I envisaged when I was on solid ground, paralyzed with the fear of letting go. In the past, every time I let go, I went right back to the familiar. This time, the ground has disappeared under my feet. It just means I will have to grow wings, n'est-ce pas?
Labels: transformation
Monday, September 6, 2010
No going back
Today, I am reminded of a conversation I had with my colleague Chris (we are co-writing what we hope will take the shape of a book!) about how when you have changed your outlook or paradigm, there is no going back. Chris saw this as both a positive and negative development. Who wouldn't have trepidations about not being able to go back 'home', wherever home is metaphorically. We talked about people we loved who had attempted to break out of their pattern, only to fall back into the same familiar place -- which can only be described as hell when you have left it for a while! Before we got too depressed, we started musing about ways in which neither of us had gone home and yet, lived to tell the tale.
Since this is my blog, I will speak of not being able to 'go back' in my chosen profession. Can't say it feels comfortable. Actually, it is downright scary! Up to now, my work has grown gingerly along with me. As a result, I have been able to contribute to the well-being of people in organizations, while supporting myself and my family. For this I am forever grateful.
What I realize today, and felt coming for the last year, is that I need to be bolder about my next iteration. While it is still about learning and facilitation, I acknowledge that my endeavours will only feed my soul if I can empower others to fuel their own personal transformation. What I am trying to say is that I want to focus exclusively on people, their lives, their relationships, their creative endeavours, and not on the content of their work. I am leaving to some highly respected colleagues work in process, planning, structures and systems. Also, learning/training in skills that are not related to emotional intelligence and growth. I realize I don't want rooms full of people who don't want to be there. What I am passionate about is helping people help themselves.
When I read what I have written I wonder why, in the moment, it felt like a big shift. It feels quite ordinary now, so I must have crossed the point of no return.
Since this is my blog, I will speak of not being able to 'go back' in my chosen profession. Can't say it feels comfortable. Actually, it is downright scary! Up to now, my work has grown gingerly along with me. As a result, I have been able to contribute to the well-being of people in organizations, while supporting myself and my family. For this I am forever grateful.
What I realize today, and felt coming for the last year, is that I need to be bolder about my next iteration. While it is still about learning and facilitation, I acknowledge that my endeavours will only feed my soul if I can empower others to fuel their own personal transformation. What I am trying to say is that I want to focus exclusively on people, their lives, their relationships, their creative endeavours, and not on the content of their work. I am leaving to some highly respected colleagues work in process, planning, structures and systems. Also, learning/training in skills that are not related to emotional intelligence and growth. I realize I don't want rooms full of people who don't want to be there. What I am passionate about is helping people help themselves.
When I read what I have written I wonder why, in the moment, it felt like a big shift. It feels quite ordinary now, so I must have crossed the point of no return.
Labels: transformation
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]
