Monday, December 28, 2009
Pattern Interrupt
Usually, we stop just short of the point of no return. We take short holidays where we think about the rest of our lives, or not at all. Takes us a week to wind down. We start to breathe and wiggle our toes. Another few days, and it becomes uncomfortable. We look for distractions, stay in the sun too long, drink too much pina colada, hang out with people we would never talk to back home. For some of us, romance is the distraction of choice, for others shopping, yet others visit 20 churches, 20 museums, 20 cities, in 20 days. In the end, we go back to our old pattern and the window for a different way of being closes shut.
What if we chose to interrupt the pattern for good? What would emerge?
A coaching client was telling me of a different experience. How she deepened her transformation by spending 5 weeks doing very little, thinking very little. No renovation project, no visitors. Nothing! It reminded me of how fertile the fallow times are, how important the hiatus, the slowing down, the empty days, the absence of an imposed schedule for a natural rhythm to emerge. Externally, the changes in this client’s life didn’t happen right away. Four months after this gift to herself and her willingness to step into some deep conversations and courageous exploration, she is radically changing her life…. for the better.
What if we chose to interrupt the pattern for good? What would emerge?
A coaching client was telling me of a different experience. How she deepened her transformation by spending 5 weeks doing very little, thinking very little. No renovation project, no visitors. Nothing! It reminded me of how fertile the fallow times are, how important the hiatus, the slowing down, the empty days, the absence of an imposed schedule for a natural rhythm to emerge. Externally, the changes in this client’s life didn’t happen right away. Four months after this gift to herself and her willingness to step into some deep conversations and courageous exploration, she is radically changing her life…. for the better.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
The Very Thing I Don’t Want
In times of transformation, the very thing I don’t want, the biggest fear is exactly what I need to espouse to give me the life I want. If I fear failure, then I must come face to face with failure to realize that it has no bite and that beyond it lies my future.
A friend of mine what recounting a difficult experience where she could do no right in a project she was hired to research and write. She had gone in knowing that the skills required of her weren’t her forte, knowing the timelines were wrong, requirements impossible to meet. She courted failure, like many of us do, when our lives need to change and we are hanging on to the side of the cliff and won’t let go. So everything went according to plan. She failed, got criticized, worked and worked and worked for unsatisfactory results. She finally had to abandon the project and loose most of her consulting fee. When she spoke with me, she was still reeling from the experience. Looking through my lens rather than hers, I could not understand why she would put herself through such agony. It then became apparent to me that that was exactly what she needed to do to let go of this business and fly in another direction.
A lesson for me.
A friend of mine what recounting a difficult experience where she could do no right in a project she was hired to research and write. She had gone in knowing that the skills required of her weren’t her forte, knowing the timelines were wrong, requirements impossible to meet. She courted failure, like many of us do, when our lives need to change and we are hanging on to the side of the cliff and won’t let go. So everything went according to plan. She failed, got criticized, worked and worked and worked for unsatisfactory results. She finally had to abandon the project and loose most of her consulting fee. When she spoke with me, she was still reeling from the experience. Looking through my lens rather than hers, I could not understand why she would put herself through such agony. It then became apparent to me that that was exactly what she needed to do to let go of this business and fly in another direction.
A lesson for me.
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